Rules Do Not Apply

April 9, 2009

I took the boys and two of their friends to Six Flags yesterday. Me and 5 boys. We were there from open til close and I’m sore today from all the walking. Why I can ride my bike crazy distances with little achiness but a day in the amusement park kills me, I don’t know. I had to have little mental realignments all day long in regards to money, time, and other people’s rudeness. Regarding the money and time, I think the only thing you can do on a “fun” day out with the kids is to treat it like Vegas: this amount of money is imaginarily burned, don’t ask where it goes and don’t try to find deals, and looking at the clock is against the rules. More on the rudeness thing in a bit.

In case there’s any blessed soul out there who has not been to Six Flags in oh, about the last dozen years or so, a cheeseburger meal for four will cost around $50. You now are forced to rent lockers for your backsacks, packs, purses, or gear. Used to be you could just cross thru the coaster car and toss your stuff onto a boxed shelf, ride, and pick it up at the end. No more. Must rent locker. Even with discounts, tickets and parking are $150. I won’t bore you with any more price breakdowns, but it was hard to open my purse each time I had to. “Just do it and don’t look. Don’t look! Don’t think about it! Let it go!” A PIECE of pizza was $8. Okay, okay, sorry.

Time. My oldest son and his buddy entered the gates with me and I didn’t see him again until I met him at the fountains to go home. They went immediately to Goliath (biggest honking coaster in the park. You spend all day walking under its’ shadows) and spent, get ready you won’t believe it…FOUR HOURS waiting to ride. Colossal bad choice. Monumental waste of time. He was breathless when we spoke by cell, “Oh Mom, it was so worth it!” I had to dig really deep not to lecture. “It’s not my day, he had a blast, don’t go there, doesn’t matter, it’s not my day, it’s not my day.” I kept trying not to do any math equations like: gate fee divided by time spent in the park equals dollar amount wasted, or amount of time available in park minus 4 ridiculous hours equals only 6 more hours to ride anything else, eat, and walk from thing to thing…Let it go. Oh that was super hard.

My middle son and his friend were on an “every 2 hours” check in schedule, so I saw more of him, but not much. Mainly at meals. I was partnered with my sweet 7 year old, Peyton. I tried to say YES and OKAY as much as possible to him. “Okay, we can ride the Log Jamboree again.” And again. And again. And again. In a row. “Yes, we can ride the Hanson Cars 4 times back to back.” “Okay, we’ll switch seats this time.” Kids hear no so often, it’s kind of fun to have a yes day. I tried halfheartedly to get him to ride something that would give me a pulse again, but the best I could get was the Scream Machine one time and he held his head afterwards and said, “Don’t make me ride that EVER AGAIN.” Bad mom. All those yeses didn’t buy me one guilt free ride.

Rudeness. Six Flags can be a scary place nowadays. Yes, there was a murder OUTSIDE the gates a couple years ago, but I have faith in the metal detectors and safety measures a big park like SF has in place to keep out the potential murder weapons. But lemme tell ya, just standing in line will make you reach for a heart pill even if you don’t take ‘em..

The line jumpers were crazy yesterday. When someone blatantly disregards the rules in place for everyone, it’s the beginning of chaos. For example, while in line, a guy walks by in the exit lane, sees his friends who were the 2 guys in front of me, and hops the little metal cattle herder fence to stand with them and ride again. Hmmm. Say nothing. “Let it go, let it go, let it go…” Time (which I am NOT keeping track of) goes by.

Now two girls go by in the exit lane, see the guys in front of me, and jump the line. Really. So I said something, “You’re kidding right? You are not jumping the line when you just got off, right?” This time it’s me and my middle son, his friend, and my trusty pal for the day, Peyton and we’ve been waiting a long time. These girls turned sloooowly around, dropped their chins, raised their eyebrows, and looked at me like I was the crazy one. So, I go, “Huh-uh, this isn’t happening, you girls need to go on to the back, you just got off.” First, they squirted out a little question of an apology, “Uhhh, sorry?” but they remained on the spot. I pointed to the back like I was telling my dog to go lay down. They asked, “Do you want to go in front of us?” “Uh, yeah, me and the other 150 people behind me would like to go in front of you.” They slunk away and I felt like a real moron.

It was at this point, after I’d already quadrupled my blood pressure and risked whatever hell the two little wildcats unleashed, that the nice, big guy standing right behind me goes, “Yeah! They did need to go on to the back! You were right!” NOW you pipe up! Coulda used a little backup there fella.

What if they hadn’t backed down? What were my real options? You just have to trust that the power of the herd and the pull of obeying the rules will work. Later, my middle son and his buddy said the same thing happened to them except it was 5 girls this time. Andrew, the buddy, said something to them like, “You can’t jump the line, we’ve been waiting and that’s not fair.” They replied, “We just did, what are you gonna do about it?” Poor little guy. And no one else said a word. You know why? Because if you play several possible scenarios out to the end, there is no good result. The jumpers could get physical, or pull a weapon (their nails could have classified there). OR you have to leave the line to go find someone to tell which means you lose anyway.

I don’t know why, but this was just shocking to me. Face to face with people who felt as if the rules just do not apply. I think it was because it made me realize just how powerless we really are in these situations. Another type of helplessness like this is when someone just takes what they want from you. Robbery. Someone just decides they want your laptop that’s locked up in your car, so they break the glass and just take it. They just take what they want. They walk up to your house, smash a window and take what they want. Or they steal your identity and take what they want. And nothing really happens to them. Not really.

It makes me think of the traffic patterns in Tokyo or Hong Kong that they show on TV. Whenever that type of scene is flashed, it looks like there could not possibly be any suggested way for the traffic to flow because it’s utter chaos. Cars are mashed in every which way, not minding the rules, staying between a nice patient line painted on the road. Bicyclists are weaving around; motor scooters are jamming between the cars. It makes you think of how much trust we actually put in others to do the right thing.

My kids were frustrated by the flaunting of the rules. And even though I felt like a cartoon character whose scalp is about to explode off the top of her head, I tried to find some sort of slant to put on it to diffuse it all, “Y’know guys, this is a perfect example of doing the right thing even when no one is looking. You just do, you just do the right thing. And for the ones that don’t do the right thing? Well, say it with me guys, ‘You can’t control anyone but yourself.’” You just keep on doing the right thing and for the ones who don’t? Just let it go.