The Substitute

April 2, 2009

I am substituting again for Mrs. Ulett. Yesterday was a tough day, rough day. The morning kids are sweet and bring the day to me smoothly. The afternoon kids can ruin a few hours if I let them and yesterday, I let them. I broke one of the cardinal rules of teaching: I engaged.

Okay, so I’m not a teacher nor have I had any formal teaching training but most of us know NOT to get sucked into the whirlpool of a 4th grader’s issues. I know this! I am so mad at myself for jumping in to the hydraulic this duo of boys create every time I see them! Charles and Ojala. Charles and Ojala are known school-wide so when I mention whose class I’m subbing in and someone asks, “How’s that working out?” and I mention that I’ve had a few troubles with these 4th graders, as soon as I say their names, heads shake in acknowledgement and sympathy.

The CRCT is coming up right after the kids return from spring break so there is a county-wide push currently going on to prepare all the students for the test. Teachers use it as a means of motivation (pulling the kids from the front) or to instill fear (pushing them from the back). “If you don’t get this right now, you won’t get it right on the CRCT and then you know what that means!? You’ll be seeing 4th grade all over again next year because you won’t pass this test!”

Today, on the morning announcements, 4 teachers got dressed up in Village People costumes and sang “CRCT” to the tune of “YMCA” complete with appropriate arm motions. “You can make a good grade! It will never fade! You’ll get to go on to the next grade! CRCT! It’s almost time for the…CRCT….” Mrs. Ulett’s class is what is known as a Resource Class. This means that for certain subjects (such as reading and writing which is what Mrs. U handles) these kids need some more intimate instruction. So, they trek it down to Mrs. U’s tiny little interior classroom (read “no windows”) for an hour. She handles a 2nd grade group, a 3rd grade group, a 5th grade group, and then two 4th grade groups take up the afternoon after lunch.

These kids struggle with words like “future.” Yesterday a beautiful little 4th grade girl asked me, “Does the future mean it’s happening right now?” 4th grade. “No sweetie, future means it hasn’t happened yet, clue words are “will” or “going to.” As in, “In the near future I WILL be tempted to hand Charles and Ojala their tongues on a platter.”

Mrs. U’s classes don’t ever have more than 8 students. I don’t sit at the desk (nor does she), but at the two long tables that have been pushed together in the center of the broom closet, er, classroom. Since I have handled her class several times before, I know that Charles and Ojala riff off each other and can quickly spiral into a death tornado of aggression, so I sit in between them at the tables. Yesterday, it was imperative that the kids do the CRCT post test (practice) and since Mrs. U leaves a tightly packed schedule for each group, I try to get the kids in and working quickly.

But, these kids don’t transition well! It takes at least 5 minutes for them to get in to the room, choose just the right pencil, negotiate seating positions, make several trips to various folders for paper, bubble answer sheets, and booklets. Up, down, up, down, walk, walk, walk….talk, talk, talk, do the aggressive shoulder bump, tattle, tattle, tattle…I have started to say a bunch of stuff that sounds as if it must have been said for centuries, “If I doesn’t involve you, then don’t tell me about it,” “If your eyes were on your own work, you wouldn’t know that he’s looking at you,” (these kids HATE to be stared at, it’s a serious form of antagonism apparently).

So, in order to get the whole ball rolling I start saying, “Sit down, close your mouths and put your pencil in your hand…David, your mouth is still talking, did you hear my instructions? David, zip it. David, you don’t need to worry about Ojala’s torn paper. Ojala will take care of Ojala, you take care of you…” Then there’s a round of each kid shushing the other kid and then they settle into a mode of semi-serious academic effort. I say “semi-serious” because they cannot keep their eyes still. These kids are not fidgety but they could give a Mafioso a lesson in subversive eye movements. “Is he looking at me? What did he put for #107? What’s he holding in his hand? Is she talking? SHH!”

I think they might do 5 or so questions before someone might whisper loudly, “Wow, this is so easy, I’ve already done 5 questions…” Then someone is practically forced to reply, “Yeah, this is easy, I’m doing great…” Which results in another admonition from me, “Guys, you’re all brilliant, keep it to yourself and move on.” And so it goes for the 50 minutes they are with me as I am Mrs. Ulett.

It was during the beginning of the semi-serious work session that Charles and Ojala couldn’t leave each other alone and both were completely ignoring my warnings and my “mean eyes.” They were now leaning around me to make threats and denials to each other (“Quit looking at me, you’re gonna get in trouble,” “I’m not looking at you! Whose pencil is that, you have Rubensons’ pencil,” “This is my pencil, leave me alone,” “No, YOU leave ME alone…” blahblahblah. Everyone in the class had ceased work to enjoy this little drama. I was only sitting about 2 feet from each kid, but NO ONE was paying me any attention, so I raised my voice, some might call it yelling. “LOOK AT ME! Stop it right now!”

So, enough background, the end result is that Charles refused to interact with me. I asked him for some specific behaviors (move your seat, answer me please, “do we need to take a walk?”) and when he wouldn’t respond to anything but was STILL peering around me at Ojala (who was probably back there shooting me whole flocks of birds, but hey, one kid at a time) with a little smirk on his face, well I jumped into the ridiculous situation with both feet and said, “I will give you until 3 to answer me. 1…..2….3….okay, that’s your answer. Get your stuff, we’re taking a walk.” The walk leads to the disciplinary principal. Sooo stupid. Of me. Well, him too, but he’s only10.

I thought about it all afternoon and even when the thunder woke me up at 4 a.m. this morning, I was formulating plans for how to handle them today. First, the slate is wiped clean, we all start off on the good foot today. I got out all their supplies and put them at the seats of MY choosing before they even got there. This worked well. But you know what? I think Ojala and Charles felt as crummy about yesterday as I did. Charles came in and immediately gave me a compliment and a hug and Ojala came in and threw me a sideways glance, “What’s the temperature in here today?” he was probably thinking. I said hey to him and “We’re gonna have a much better day today, right Ojala?” He replied, “Well, it sure ain’t gonna be a repeat of yesterday, that’s for sure!” Yeah, you got that right buddy.

CRCT! We’re getting’ ready for the….CRCT!...you can make a good grade…